It’s getting that beautiful time of year to celebrate, if sometimes by hand. Let’s face it, we all do, you know, traditional party. Know your limits? Here is the top 10 of Elders (Lettermen ala), you can tell if you might be a little too far.
10 They see in the Mall, nappies, but it is not part of one of those New Year’s Baby costumes.
9 You wake up in your neighbor’s living room watching “The Best of Betty Boop.
8 The police will ask you how you managed your car at the courthouse flagpole municipal flag.
7 You have found someone to kiss Debby Boone artwork.
6 The man, whose party visited asks, “What is this thing in my clarinet?
5th For the next six months, nobody made eye contact with you.
4th There is a message on your answering Lindsay Lohan saying: “Way to go!”
3rd You will find a receipt in your pocket thousands of dollars for a donation to the “Save the Chipmunk coalition.”
2nd They are not really safe, why is there a tattoo of Elaine Stritch on your chest.
And the number one, as a man can be said to have had too much to drink, New Year’s Day:
1 On your night table is a marriage license and in the room for the signing of the bride is a shoe print.
Enjoy all the holidays and have fun, but please do not drink and drive. Remember that alcohol and gasoline mix. Well, they do, but they taste terrible.